My heart is heavy tonight. I found out that a little boy (12 years old) that attends my church died this evening. I don't know the full extent of the situation other than he had a a seizure this afternoon and then went to the E.R.
Death is always sad, but when it happens to a child it seems to be infinitely sadder. Children aren't supposed to die. I wasn't very close with the family, but my church is a small community and when one us hurts, we all heart. I feel broken for them and I don't know how to even imagine what they are going through.
We take things in life for granted so easily. Waking up tomorrow, seeing my family, going to work, drinking my coffee with creamer, I assume all of these things will happen. I rely on that consistency. But life is not consistent. It is not reliable. It's short. And sometimes it's harsh.
I don't think it's a coincidence that my pastor started a series on prayer this week at church. Prayer is such a mysterious and complex topic. I can't do the sermon justice but I will try to paint a picture of the multitude of prayers he shared with us. He went through a list of miracles that God has performed in his life including the birth of his son and the removal of a wart on his finger. In my own life I've experienced the miracle of the credential program (for me at least, the fact that I've survived and passed all my TPA's is a miracle). I've also seen God protect my family and provide for me to travel to Japan.
But sometimes it feels like our prayers go unanswered and unheard. And I'm not referring to any Garth Brooks song. Why did this boy die today? How can God heal warts and help me persevere through TPA's and yet take a child before his 13th birthday? How is that right or fair or good?
I know there isn't an easy answer to any of this. I'm not even asking for one. I just feel a need to put my question out to the universe as to the justice of this all. I remember when my aunt died in 2004. She was my uncle's second wife but I loved her. She was one of those cool adults who actually paid attention to the kids in the family. She made my uncle a better person. She died of pulmonary embolism one night in April. Suddenly. No warning. Just gone.
We come to God in our joy and in our sorrows. Sometimes we have a laundry list of demands or a song of praise. And sometimes all we can do is say, "why?" God isn't obligated to answer us. I think on one level we really have no right to know let alone ask. But we are relational human beings with a need to understand. We are trying to make sense of this. It doesn't make sense.
I don't have a way to rationalize this. I'm going to get ready for bed and try to sleep and pray for the family. I don't really know what to pray for. But I will try. Maybe tomorrow the words will come. Maybe.
Death is always sad, but when it happens to a child it seems to be infinitely sadder. Children aren't supposed to die. I wasn't very close with the family, but my church is a small community and when one us hurts, we all heart. I feel broken for them and I don't know how to even imagine what they are going through.
We take things in life for granted so easily. Waking up tomorrow, seeing my family, going to work, drinking my coffee with creamer, I assume all of these things will happen. I rely on that consistency. But life is not consistent. It is not reliable. It's short. And sometimes it's harsh.
I don't think it's a coincidence that my pastor started a series on prayer this week at church. Prayer is such a mysterious and complex topic. I can't do the sermon justice but I will try to paint a picture of the multitude of prayers he shared with us. He went through a list of miracles that God has performed in his life including the birth of his son and the removal of a wart on his finger. In my own life I've experienced the miracle of the credential program (for me at least, the fact that I've survived and passed all my TPA's is a miracle). I've also seen God protect my family and provide for me to travel to Japan.
But sometimes it feels like our prayers go unanswered and unheard. And I'm not referring to any Garth Brooks song. Why did this boy die today? How can God heal warts and help me persevere through TPA's and yet take a child before his 13th birthday? How is that right or fair or good?
I know there isn't an easy answer to any of this. I'm not even asking for one. I just feel a need to put my question out to the universe as to the justice of this all. I remember when my aunt died in 2004. She was my uncle's second wife but I loved her. She was one of those cool adults who actually paid attention to the kids in the family. She made my uncle a better person. She died of pulmonary embolism one night in April. Suddenly. No warning. Just gone.
We come to God in our joy and in our sorrows. Sometimes we have a laundry list of demands or a song of praise. And sometimes all we can do is say, "why?" God isn't obligated to answer us. I think on one level we really have no right to know let alone ask. But we are relational human beings with a need to understand. We are trying to make sense of this. It doesn't make sense.
I don't have a way to rationalize this. I'm going to get ready for bed and try to sleep and pray for the family. I don't really know what to pray for. But I will try. Maybe tomorrow the words will come. Maybe.
